Domestic Violence
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Hours:24/7. Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service
800-799-7233
Why do Domestic Violence victims sometimes stay or go back to their abusers?
Why the victim doesn't just leave is not the pertinent question. Why the abuser
chooses to abuse is a better question to ask.
As victims seek protection, the cards are stacked against them:
● Abusive partners put a lot of effort into keeping theirvictims in the relationship. They could try to keep the victim away from family members and friends, limiting the number of people and places the survivor might turn to for help. Abusive spouses create financial obstacles to safety through various techniques.
● There is a genuine fear of death or further abuse if theyleave because abusers might interpret this act of independence as a threat to the control they have worked so hard to achieve, in which case they might decide to use more force. Every day, on average, three women are killed by a current or previous intimate partner.
● Abusers make their victims believe they are to blame for theabuse by "gaslighting" them. Gaslighting is a type of emotional abuse that abusers employ to perplex their victims and place the blame on them. As a result, the victim frequently begins to question their sanity and believes that they are to blame for the abuse and can thus end it.
● Over time, abuse has a negative mental and physical impactthat might lead to further health problems that make leaving more challenging.
● Survivors frequently state that they do not wish to stop therelationship, only the abuse. Because they trust the abuser's assurances that they will change, survivors could decide to remain with or rejoin an abusive spouse.
Should a person victimized by domestic violence call the police, a lawyer or a domestic violence hotline for help?
If the violence is physical, immediate and serious, the police should be called.
At minimum, call a domestic violence hotline to find out what your options are.
They may give you instructions on how to enter a shelter, if you may be harmed.
If the domestic violence is less physical and more of a financial / emotional
control matter, you may want to consider a separation, if you are married. You
may also want to speak with a competent divorce lawyer. The choice is yours, but you really should get help as soon as possible.
Do abusers exhibit any potential red flags?
Although it is impossible to identify an abuser in a crowd, most abusers have some
traits in common. Subtle warning indicators can include:
● They insist on entering a relationship right away.
● They may appear "too good to be true," despitetheir appeal.
● They adamantly demand that you quit engaging in your favoritepastimes or spending time with loved ones.
● They exhibit tremendous control or jealousy.
● They don't accept accountability for their acts and place theblame for every misfortune on others.
● They frequently tear down their partner and put down their looks.
● Their words and deeds don't line up.
It'scritical to keep in mind that domestic violence is, at its core, a pattern of
power and control.
In Nassau County – Click here to learn more about domestic violence.
To find info. on divorce in Westchester please visit: https://divorcelawyerswestchester.com/
For info. on Child Custody, click here.
